A let me sleep in this morning until 9 and I feel great. I have more patience with the kids, I actually feel like getting stuff done and it didn't require a pot of coffee to get me going. (Don't get me wrong, I drank it anyway!) I have a real problem with going to bed early for several reasons. The first is that, more often than not, during the work week A doesn't get home until between 11pm and 1am. I end up putzing around waiting to see him before I go to bed, or I dilly dally doing nothing for an extra hour or two instead of just packing it in. On the nights that he does get home before bedtime, I want to hang out and talk or watch something stupid on TV. We end up watching an extra two episodes of something that we've seen before just because we're both savoring the feeling of doing nothing. This is bad for both of us since he gets up at least an hour before I do in the morning.
The other reason is that sometimes, it's hard to face the thought of "tomorrow". It's difficult to admit that I don't relish the thought of hanging out with my beautiful, funny girls every... single... day. Some days they just tax my patience to the limit and I know that tomorrow I have to do it all over again. This ends up snowballing, since I stay up late to avoid tomorrow, then I'm cranky the next day because I didn't get enough sleep!
I never in a million years imagined how hard it would be to transition from part time work to full time stay at home mom. You figure, there's only a few days a week difference, right? BIG difference. Having the break of working outside of the house, the interaction with a human being that doesn't want fruit snacks and PB&J 24 hours a day, not having to wipe someone's hiney every hour or so... that is priceless. Jumping into it with two of them isn't helping, either! Having just N or just D would be a breeze compared to the dual whirlwind that occurs when the two of them get together. I suppose it's just as well that I'm getting started on it now, because it's only going to get harder as they get older and D gets into temper tantrums and N gives up her afternoon nap. (NEVER!!!)
The peace that presides over the household when everyone is happy is a blissful feeling. A lot of that is contingent upon ME. If I'm short with N, she immediately gets cranky. If she's gearing up for a fit and I can work through it really quick by being silly, it can save the whole day. I frequently shoot myself in the foot and I know it. I am a nut about making sure my kids take their naps and go to bed on time, why can't I follow the same discipline for myself?
I would love to find Zen in my day and I think that the key to the search is going to be a well rested family, starting with me.
who could be angry with those little faces?!
2 comments:
seriously, we're two peas in a pod. the difference is, i'm not brave enough to do full-time stay-at-home mommy....
it's been a struggle, to say the least. we are lucky enough to be able to get by on one salary. (or two salaries, if you're counting jobs, haha!) since i started writing, i've been more focused. i think things will get a lot easier once the weather turns!
Post a Comment