Stickers, Stickers Everywhere!

It's funny how much a small change can make such a big impact on such a young mind.

A few months ago, I was at my wit's end with N. My anxiety level was at an all time high, she had screaming temper tantrums several times a day and I cried at least once a day from anger and frustration. We've been going through a lot of big family changes, which I've touched on before. The biggest is A's schedule. Before he got the wonderful opportunity to teach, he gave the girls a bath and put them to bed every night. It was their daddy time. Right now, he's in school and working more hours in the hopes that he can teach full time in the future. I think this has impacted N the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss him, too, but at least I can rationalize and understand what's going on. N's little brain just went haywire, I think. The tiniest obstacle would result in yelling, crying and throwing whatever she could get her hands on. Time outs were marginally effective. They were better at calming her down after the fact than preventing one to begin with. At her worst, she was going ballistic more than once an hour. And so was I.

To vent a little of the steam, I posted up on facebook and got many helpful tips from my friends. One was that I should do something to reward and reinforce good behavior. They suggested a chart that she could put a sticker on when she did something good, then trade it in at the end of the week for special "daddy time." The very first day we instituted it, I felt like she was calmer. It wasn't like she was trying to be good, but maybe that I noticed the good things she did more often and praised her for them. I couldn't think of a good name for it, so I just called it the Be Good Chart, haha! The chart was definitely therapeutic for her AND me. It's hard to get through the day when the moments that stick in your mind are all the crappy ones. I knew I would never remember everything that she did, so I would put a sticker on and then write one line at the bottom about how she was good. I tried to get her to tell me what she did, like "shared toys with D" or "left the park without a fit." Lately I've been heading off tantrums with a reminder that if she gets ready for bed quickly without a fuss, we can put a sticker on the chart.

N is so proud of her chart, she shows it off whenever she can. Just last week, Aunt C came to see N (and incidentally stay later after N & D went to bed for drinks and crocheting) and one of the first things N said was "Come look at my Be Good chart!!" I think a lot of the change in the household attitude is stemming from focusing on the positive. A comes home and asks how the day went and I can tell him all the nice things N did, instead of how many hissy fits she had.

I also wanted to post about N's visit to pre-school, a few of our crafts and D's scary trip to the ER, but it's really late. Everyone probably already heard through Facebook, but D spent the day at the ER with pneumonia. No fun! She's all better now, so I guess there isn't really anything to post about. We've been blessed thus far in that we've never had any serious health problems with our children. This was the first time anyone has been seriously ill and one of only a handful of times we've ever even taken them to the doc's for being sick. N went for an earache once, and D went when she had Fifth Disease and went for her diarrhea, but that's it. Like I said, we've been lucky!

I'll try to get back soon for the rest of the updates, but until then... Be Good!!