Blog Birthday

Happy birthday, my little blog! I went back to re-read some of my earlier posts a few weeks ago, and I realized that my very first post was mid-February. I decided to take stock of where I am right now, and see how I did with my goal of sweeping life changes.

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

I cook a LOT more for the girls, we do super fun stuff almost every day, I've cut down on their TV a *little*, and I feel like my attitude is much better in general. There are a few things that have really helped me get my shiz together.

N going to school has brought some weekly routine into the mix. Not only does it get us out and about early in the day, but it gives me some quality time with D. School has also helped N's attitude, I think. She freaks out less frequently, and is a little more reasonable when there's an obstacle in the way. A little. We're still working on that.

I discovered audiobooks! This was a housecleaning epiphany. My husband works very late 4 days a week, so I'm on my own a lot. After the girls are in bed, I feel like I need some *me* time, understandably so. Before, I would sit down for "just a minute" to check my e-mail or watch a short show while I ate dinner. Once I parked my butt, that was all she wrote. This way, I can listen to a book while I poke around the house cleaning. I lose myself in the books and I find myself looking for more things to do while I listen. The house isn't perfect, but it's a LOT better.

I made a conscious effort to not shrink away from "messy" fun. We've been doing more crafty fun things, even if the project requires a lot of clean up. I try to include D, but that's asking a little much, haha! Our messy play time is usually when D is sleeping in the afternoons. N has gotten a lot better at helping around the house. She cleans up her toys when I ask her, and she even empties parts of the dishwasher for me! She's in charge of silverware and sippy cups. What a big girl <3 !

Dried beans and glue! Just a quick little craft for the afternoon. D didn't try to eat *too* many beans. (Really, you would think she was old enough to know better by now!)

I joined a MOMS Club! It's been awesome. There are playdates available just about every weekday, if you want to go. There are also Mom's Nights Out once a month, but since A works late just about every night, I never get to go. Boo! I host at least one playdate a month here, so it's also a good motivation to get the first floor presentable once a month. I've met a lot of great moms that live in my town, and N & D have a bunch of friends that they get to play with regularly. Not only are the playdates super fun, but the support has been fantastic. When I have a question about ANYTHING, there's 20 other moms that have an opinion (and aren't afraid to share it!). They all have kids. They all live near me. They've all been where I am, and know how hard it can be. They also know how much fun it is, too. :)

We still eat mac & chee sometimes. D still has chronic diarrhea (nasty, I know!). I still get frustrated. But I feel like I'm floating through the days less and less. I feel like I have a Purpose. I know that this is largely due to the girls being one year older and a little easier to handle. N & D can play together, and now that D is talking a little clearer, they can have actual conversations. (SO freaking cute!!)

Those little heads bent together are just the sweetest!

I would love to bottle this positive feeling and keep it in a jar for those days when the grumps come creeping in. Bad days are a part of life, but they've been less frequent and for that I'm grateful.

New Year's Motivations

I know, I know... I'm a day (or 23) late and more than a few dollars short, but things have been busier than usual around here. I have a backlog of new posts in my head that have yet to make it to the blog, so hopefully I can get them out in the next week or so.

I dislike the term New Year's Resolution, because I feel like if there are changes that you want to make to your life, you shouldn't wait for a specific date to make it happen. I do, however, feel more motivation to make changes at the beginning of the new year. This is probably due more to the vacation days around the holiday and the impending easing of schedule (which oddly never happened) than anything else. There are a few areas of my own life, that impact not only me but my family, in which I feel motivated to better myself during this time of "new beginnings".

1. Let N be more independent.
This is a hard one for me. It's easier to swoop in when N is eating, getting dressed, putting away toys, etc, and do it myself rather than let her do it at her own pace. Which is maddeningly slow. I've seen the impact that it's made on her especially at mealtimes. Since I have to split my time between N and D, D has gotten very proficient in feeling herself and can eat faster and cleaner than N can, even though she's two years younger. We never let N do it for herself when she was little, and now she doesn't want to. I've got to back off and foster more independence in her life. I bought her special "4 year old" dishes that she can get from the cabinet herself. She loves them! Incidentally, this is also a visual reminder for me to control their portions better. 1/2 the plate for veggies, small sections for kid sized portions of meat and starch.

 

What big girls!

 

D has decided that she's too grown up for a highchair or booster seat, even though she can barely see her plate!

Using a fork and everything. :)

2. Be funner.

This is my main "resolution" for 2012, so there will be an entire blog post about it later. It's very easy to get into a rut of staying home. We drift through our days (still!) watching too much TV and doing... I'm not sure what. The days blend together sometimes and I hate to think that NOTHING got accomplished. The end of December and January has been a bust for playdates since daddy was home more, but we'll be getting back into that soon. The main thing I need to get into a better habit of is just plain making a mess. I hate cleaning up, so I'm loathe to get out the messy (fun) play time items. I've recently become addicted to Pinterest (more on that in another post) and it's definitely inspiring to see pages and pages of super cool kid crafts. This month I've gotten out the paints, play-doh, Elmer's Glue, and those toys with too many little pieces that N loves and D eats.

Super simple craft with construction paper, glue, and dried beans.

Marble racer N got for Christmas. I hate this thing. N loves it. I just need to make sure we clean it up before D wakes up from her nap!

3. Be more positive.

This is really tied in with #2, but I need to enjoy my time home more. Don't sweat the messes, but get into a better habit of cleaning up. When the house gets to a disaster-type state around here, it affects not only me, but my husband and the kids, too. When I'm feeling positive and happy, it's easy to breeze around the house and pick up the ENDLESS messes that crop up. I also need to remember to take a break and do things that make ME happy, too. After the girls go to bed (still 7:00, weeee!) I whirlwind around the house and clean so I have time to crochet in the evenings while I listen to audiobooks. This is awesome, relaxing and productive all at once! Currently, I'm desperately trying to finish D's little afghan in time for her birthday party. *Finger's crossed*

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday season and is back into the swing of every day life. It's hard to go from "vacation" mode to "serious work" mode, and this is our first week of it here. I'm ready to lock & load and rock & roll and... do stuff. Yeah.

Two Steps Back

I had an absolute armpit of a day today, which is really disappointing because I feel like I've been doing so much better lately. I think D is teething, so she's been in a rotten mood the past few days. Both my kids were painfully slow teethers. Emphasis on the *painful*! D only has her four top, four bottom and four molars in. I noticed her canines poking through this morning, so hopefully we're in the home stretch.

I swear I spent over half the day either crying or trying not to lose my shit. I really need to pay more attention to my personal habits, too. I know I skipped breakfast and forgot to eat lunch until almost 2 in the afternoon. That certainly doesn't help my mood.

N's been getting more possessive of her toys, too. Today she had a huge setup of Littlest Pet Shop animals and a building block city on the couch. Right at D level. As soon as D would come within a 5 foot radius of N's bustling metropolis, N would shriek at ear splitting levels and whack D on the chest. Everyone crying again. I need to make a little D-free zone for N to have her imaginative play time, because that takes up a large portion of her day.

The last recurring trial of the day (really the last week or two) is that D is obsessed with the "potty". I hate to discourage her, but she only wants to play in the bathroom. If I bring the little potty out of the bathroom for her, she wants nothing to do with it. She wants to sit on the big potty and play with N's toys, which inevitably fall between her legs into the toilet. Then she wants to get down and rummage in the extremely un-kidproofed closet. Ten times a day. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that one. Like I said, I don't want to discourage her from potty stuff if she's interested, but I suspect she's just using it as a vehicle to achieve fun times in the bathroom.

Hopefully, the coming holidays will be a bit of a break with A home. We're having everyone over to my house for Thanksgiving, so I'm really excited about that. I have photos of the stamps and the craft we used them with to post, but I'll have to save that for another day. I have to go clean!

Tomorrow will be better, right?

Don't Worry, It's Just a Phase

I've been away from blogging over the summer. My husband was home more and my evenings somehow disappeared into a haze of cleaning and vegging in front of the TV. (yuk!) Now that the semester is yet again underway, I'm on my own at least 4 full days a week. It's definitely trying my patience, but we're all adjusting. I'll touch on a few things before I get into my "real" blog post.

Preschool

N started preschool this year. *tear* She goes in the mornings two days a week. It's a nice break in our routine, but it's a busy way to start our loooong week. I was worried that N would have a little trouble being away since she's never been watched by anyone other than immediate family. I should have saved myself the grey hairs. I don't even get a kiss goodbye before she's running into her classroom. Of course, D wailing and draping herself across my arms may have something to do with that, too. D redeems herself when we go to pick up N and she's squealing and dancing before we reach the door. Actually, both of them are. Cute!

 

N's First Day of School

 

N's First Two Weeks of Classwork

The Garden

This turned out to be such a nice project for the summer. We ate oodles of squash, and a good amount of cucumbers. The peppers were a little sparse, but I think that was due more to the damage of the storm/hurricane than anything else. They were coming in late in the season, right when the storm hit.

The Beach

We went on vacation to Nags Head, NC for a week with my parents. IT WAS AWESOME! We had a great time. The girls behaved so well and the weather was perfect. I can't say enough good things about our time there.

 

A & D in the outside shower. This is my favorite picture from the week! (seriously, we didn't take a single shower inside all week)

Family Photo! The stairs on the right hand side of the photo led to our cabin.

Ready to head home :)

Not Much Else

I'm sure we did more, but nothing is standing out to me at the moment. We didn't do anything life changing or epic (other than our rockin' vacation).

Just a Phase

You know when you hear that phrase... it's exactly WHILE your kid is doing something embarassing/out of control/or vaguely obscene that someone sagely nods their head and says "Oh don't worry, it's just a phase, hon." I hate that. Unfortunately, it's also true. I remember when we thought that Nora would never get out of her 24/7 temper tantrum. I felt like she spent 90% of her waking time rolling around on the ground sounding *exactly* like what I imagine a stuck pig to sound like.

This is her licking snot off her nose following a fit because the stupid baby bjorn wouldn't stay on or something. This was March 2010, so she was 26 months and D was one month old. Obviously, we weren't in the best frame of mind to deal with the trivial (to us!) problems of a two year old, either. However, this time passed without us noticing the end of it. That's not to say that N never has hissy fits, they're just much less frequent and often we can head them off at the pass and avoid it altogether. At the time they were absolutely unavoidable. The frustrations of being two coupled with distracted parents and a new baby sister (not to mention her sassy personality) were a recipe for disaster. Unfortunately, D is just gearing up for her time to shine...

Oh, bad mommy won't let you pull a frying pan full of ground beef and grease on your head. :(

N's bedtime routines have also eased up a bit. We have a nice, SHORT, reasonable routine in place. No more 30 minutes from start to finish. I think a big thing that helped with this was N giving up her nap. (If you could spend a moment of silence to mourn its passing, I would appreciate it.) With no nap and school in the mix she is very tired by bedtime, which has been bumped up to 7 so that she goes to bed the same time as D. Sweet! There's little resistance especially on nights that A isn't home. We have our ducks in a row and mommy doesn't take any crap. Not that daddy does, but I think with two of us around she sees the opportunity to take a chance on someone being a softie.

Another change that I have noticed since the last time I blogged is that things are a lot more in control for me at home. I cook a lot more, and the house is almost always tidy. I still have a hard time keeping up with the "real" cleaning like mopping, bathrooms and laundry, but the dishes are usually done and the floors/countertops are clear before I go to bed. I attribute this solely to audiobooks. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! It makes it so much easier to lose myself in my book while cleaning. I never look at the clock to see if I've cleaned long enough to sit down guilt free, and I actually look for things to do so I can listen longer.

I know people always say that they wish that there were more hours in a day. What I want is another *day* in my day. The only caveat is that my kids need to be on another plane of existence while I have my extra time. There are a few basic things that I want/need to accomplish with my time sans children: cleaning, crocheting, reading and the occasional blog. I can not keep up with all these in the time allotted. Since I have the girls from waking to sleeping, at least four days a week, I also need to get to bed at a reasonable time every night. This is very hard for me, still. I want to cram as much "me time" in the hours after 7pm that I end up staying awake way too long. This makes me cranky and short-tempered the next day, which is bad for everyone.

Well, the long and the short of it is that I need to: 1) remember how far N has come in a year, 2) cut D some slack and 3) discover how to manipulate the space-time continuum so that I can get everything done.

Easy peasy, mac & cheesie!

K. I. S. S.? I wish!

Keep it simple, stupid!

I know that toddlers and pre-schoolers thrive on routine, but N's bedtime rituals are getting a little ridiculous. This is what happens EVERY night:

Things that NEED to be in the bed:
2 Pony Security Blankets
2 stuffed Ikea ferrets
2 different stuffed giraffes (they both rattle/jingle which is annoying)
regular pillow
bear pillow
down throw blanket
large egyptian linen swaddle blanket
large crocheted blanket
pink patchwork quilt

If any one of these things is missing from her bed, she WILL notice and you MUST find it. Sometimes she's carried it out of her room, sometimes it's just lost in the crazy jumble of toys and blankets. Either way, if it's not there, she's not sleeping. The list is only about half of what's in her bed, the rest is a semi-rotating gathering of toys and blankets that are crammed into her bed tent. There are nights that she gets it in her head that she needs a 4" tall piglet change purse that hangs out in her bed. Try finding that in the dark!

After we make sure everyone is in bed and ready to go to sleep, it's time for the routine.

Read a book in Mommy & Daddy's room, because D's sleeping and we can't do it there.

Make sure her fan and nightlight are both on.

Once in bed, we say the sleep rules:
1. Stay in bed.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Be very quiet.
4. Go to sleep.
5. If it's red, stay in bed. (this refers to her nightlight / toddler alarm clock, which also must be on)

Then it's time for prayers:
Now I lay me down to sleep... and also God is Great (the one you say before eating). I'm not sure how this got added in, but whatever.

Then, I sing her two songs:
The Beatles, All My Loving (Close Your Eyes)
and Mr. Moon (Before you judge, my mom used to sing it to me and I didn't think of changing the lyrics until it was too late, haha!)

After that, I have to hold up the sign language I Love You sign, and say "Goodnight, sweetheart." The very last thing is to lay in bed with her for more than 30 seconds, but less than 2 minutes. She doesn't like it if you  stay too long and she says "OK, please go away now."

While all of this can get a little annoying, especially finding all of her toys in bed, it works like a charm. If I follow the routine, she's good to go. The downside is that when we aren't at home, she has a very difficult time going to sleep and never naps.

The simple days. 1 Pony, 1 Ferret, no fuss!

D, on the other hand, I could chuck her in bed from the doorway and just go downstairs. (Of course, at her age, N was the same way!) We read her a book or two before bedtime, just because. For naps, I take her upstairs, hand her the bear blanket and cover her up. She'll fall asleep on her own in 5 or 10 minutes. If she's not sleepy, she'll talk to herself for 30 minutes before she settles down. I don't remember the last time she cried when I put her down to sleep. We've been super lucky with her. Also, A and I have always firm believers in sleep training, and protecting the girls' need to sleep and nap. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child was our bible from when the girls were 4 months old and up. Whenever someone is going through a nap transition, or having trouble, I still refer back to it. I highly recommend it to every new parent, or to parents of older kids with sleeping or napping issues.

Anyway, I'm not complaining about N's routine. I think it's cute and only mildly annoying that she's so inflexible. It comforts her and gets her to sleep, so it's all good in my book! I've found that a well rested child (and a well rested parent) is much easier to deal with, so whatever it takes is worth it.

...How Does Your Garden Grow?

I've been remiss in my blogging as of late, mostly due to the fact that my husband has been home at night more the past few weeks. I use the blog to kill time after the girls go to bed when there's no one to talk to and I have housework to avoid! I also wait until I have a TON of stuff to talk about instead of making 3 or 4 shorter blog entries.

Anywho, tonight's topic is N's garden. It seems to be doing OK. My alternate working blog title was "Two Left Thumbs" but her plants have perked up a bit in recent days and I think they're doing better. To start at the beginning, A and the girls dug out my garden for Mother's Day. It took about a week to put on the finishing touches and get the dirt to fill it in.

 It's a good thing the garden got done, these guys were getting out of hand! Also, we seriously need to work on her "picture face"!

Hooray, it's done! N's ready to plant.

Digging the holes with her own little shovel.

Carefully planting some peppers.

Phew! Job well done!

N and I watered her plants every day and we made it through the heat wave with most of the plants intact. We lost one pepper plant right next to the door, but I think that was due to N stepping on it a few times. Oops! It was nice to have something specific to do while D was sleeping. Some days, when it was too hot to go out, I watered them while N was asleep. Luckily, she didn't remember! The plants have been growing well. The squash are doing the best, the cucumbers are still hanging in there, and the peppers are slowly growing. A few weeks after the initial planting, I got N to help me weed out her garden. There were only a few tiny weeds, but we had fun!

N's got her gardening gloves and her goofy grin ready to go!

Me pointing out the difference between her plants and the weeds.

N pulled them all herself.

Plants are getting bigger!

Baby squash!!

Since the rains have cooled things off a bit, the squash have gotten so much bigger. Hopefully we can keep things going and not kill off all of the plants. I'm super excited to have squash and cucumbers this summer! I'm not too hopeful about the peppers, but we'll see. We never got a chance to get tomato plants, but perhaps it's just as well. I think I'll have my hands full with the garden I started!

The Toy Fairy

Lots of households with kids have random fairys that reside within. One popular one is the Tooth Fairy. We have lots of little Nature Fairies that live in the birdhouses outside (they only come out when you're not looking). I've often heard moms wish that they had a Clean-Up Fairy to do all their work! Well, I think that I've met the Clean-Up Fairy's cousin, and it's the Toy Fairy.

The Toy Fairy doesn't leave your darling children toys while they sleep. The Toy Fairy doesn't magically fix a broken favorite toy. The Toy Fairy doesn't even give you mystical inspiration on what to get your kids for their birthdays. The Toy Fairy in our house will STEAL YOUR TOYS IF YOU DON'T PUT THEM AWAY! I'm not even kidding. Well, she's a little nicer than that, but she will take them to play with for an undetermined amount of time if you leave them out. It's so awesome. When N's done with a box of blocks and wants to move on to something else but is too distracted to get them all put away... "Honey, I thought I heard the Toy Fairy in the house last night. You better get those blocks put away or she might take them to play with!" It just lights a little fire under her butt, hehehe! As of yet, we haven't had to actually implement a toy taking. The threat of fairy invaders has been enough to spur a cleaning frenzy.

I've also heard that the Toy Fairy has lots of sisters and brothers, just in case you want to invite one to stay at your house. ;)

Rainy Day? Craft Away! (Updated)

I'm always looking for something easy, cheap, quick, fun and not too messy to do with N. A tall order! I ran across a neat website called HowDoesShe? that has lots of craft ideas as well as recipes and articles on mommy-type stuff. I've found a few nifty things on there so far. One of the crafts that I ran across was this sidewalk chalk recipe. It looked easy, and N had a birthday party to go to soon and I thought it would make a good gift. I did end up modifying the "recipe" a little to make it less messy and easier to clean up.

You will need:

2/3 cup water

1 to 1 1/4 cups plaster of paris

sandwich sized ziploc baggie

ice cube tray or silicone candy mold tray

scissors

food dye

toddler or pre-schooler

1) Pour water into zip loc baggie and add food dye.

2) Add about half of the plaster of paris and seal baggie with most of the air pressed out.

3) Give to wee one to squish around until the plaster is thorougly mixed in.

4) At this point, the mixture will be very watery. Add more plaster until it is about the consistency of pancake batter. The pink set used a little over 1 cup of plaster and the yellow used about 1 1/4 cups. You can see the difference in how thick the mixture is. Both set up fine.

UPDATE: After popping out the chalk, the thinner mixture turned out much better. The chalk had no bubbles in it and the tops were smoother. I really like the home made chalk better than the cheap store bought chalk becuase it's much denser, so it lasts longer. The store bought chalk looks like it's made from a frothy mixture, so there's lots of air bubbles in it. Nothing wrong with it, but goes quickly. I need to get some more interesting molds, though! Also, the chalk only really works on sidewalks. It doesn't work very well on an indoor blackboard.

5) When you have the mixture at the thickness you want, snip a corner off the baggie and fill your trays.

6) After a few hours (or a nap!) flip ice cube trays upside down and pop out your chalk!

Here's the set I made for Z's 3rd birthday party. I got the boxes and basket at Rite Aid, and N decorated them with princess stickers.

The best thing about my modifications to the original recipe is that there's MINIMAL CLEANUP!! Just toss the baggies, wash the mold and you're done. I also like the small sized batches, this lets N pick lots of colors and squish lots of baggies. Her squishing made me a little nervous, so I'm definitely going to invest in some name brand baggies. The ones I had were from the dollar store and I didn't have a whole lot of faith in them holding up to her enthusiastic participation.

We had lots of fun today, even though it was rainy and chilly out. Now I just need to find something good for next time...

Too Cool for School!

A few weeks ago, N and I visited her future pre-school. There's not a whole lot of options in the area, so I scoped out everybody's websites and called a few places. It seemed like one came out far on top in attitude and price. When I called, the woman was super nice and it's right in town. (Also a big plus!) She told me that N and I could drop by any day just after all the kids get there and hang out for an hour or so while they do their morning routine. So, I arranged to meet up with N's little friend W and her mom, and off we went!

The preschool is set up in a church basement. There's a large common area with classrooms all around the perimeter. I think there were 2 three year old classrooms and 2 four year old classrooms. Each class had 10-12 students and 2 teachers. The three year old classes focus on shapes, colors, letters, numbers, etc. It seemed like most of what they would be "learning" is stuff that N already knows. However the MOST important thing that N will learn is how to follow directions and how to act in a classroom setting. She's never been to a daycare, or had to behave without me or A around. I signed her up for a tiny tots tumbling class to see how she'd do, but it's kind of a bust. N's not very interested in it, she is terrible at following directions, and the teacher isn't very good at controlling the rest of the class. I spend the entire class herding N around and trying to keep her on task while the two boys run amok. W is a little angel, of course!

When we got there, N definitely looked overwhelmed with all the activity. After a few minutes, she decided it was OK to join in the free play and she fit right in! After 15 minutes or so of kids coming in the door and getting settled, it was time for all the classes to meet in the common area for morning prayers and songs. This was where things got a little scary for N, I think. The 3 year old and 4 year old classes all got together in a big circle (with N and W) while W's mom and I hung back to watch. I think what was most intimidating to N was that everyone knew what to do except for her. W, however, jumped right in and copied everyone's dance moves and tried to sing along to the songs that she didn't know! Even though I was trying hard not to giggle too loudly, it was a bit sad to see N so weirded out. Since it's the end of their school year soon, all the other kids had months to learn their songs, dances and Bible verses. They were a well oiled machine! N was just standing there like a deer in headlights while the other kids were clapping and dancing. At one point, W tried to hold N's hand to make her feel better. For the next few minutes, while W had gone back to dancing, N had frozen with her arm sticking out and a panicked look on her face. Poor kid!

After morning songs and prayers it was back to their classroom for craft time and free play. The teachers would pull out two students at a time to work on their Easter baskets while the other kids played until everyone had a chance to complete their craft project. W's mom and I just hung back again to watch how our girls interacted with the rest of the class. I didn't think that N and W seemed so much younger than the other kids. Everyone played and shared nicely and W even helped clean up when play time was done. N will be on the older end of the 3 year olds by the time she gets into class, which is fine by me. Hopefully it will give her a chance to mature a little more and listen a little better.

I'm sure that N will be fine when she starts in the fall. She's only signed up for two days a week from 9 to 11:30, and she should be in the same class as W. I, however, have never had to leave her with strangers before, so... I think I'll be the nervous wreck! We've definitely been lucky in that A's mom watched N while I worked part time, and that I was able to stay home after D was born. It was a blessing that we got to keep the kids home with family. It has been hectic lately and I find myself daydreaming of work sometimes, but when you get right down to it, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

Stickers, Stickers Everywhere!

It's funny how much a small change can make such a big impact on such a young mind.

A few months ago, I was at my wit's end with N. My anxiety level was at an all time high, she had screaming temper tantrums several times a day and I cried at least once a day from anger and frustration. We've been going through a lot of big family changes, which I've touched on before. The biggest is A's schedule. Before he got the wonderful opportunity to teach, he gave the girls a bath and put them to bed every night. It was their daddy time. Right now, he's in school and working more hours in the hopes that he can teach full time in the future. I think this has impacted N the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss him, too, but at least I can rationalize and understand what's going on. N's little brain just went haywire, I think. The tiniest obstacle would result in yelling, crying and throwing whatever she could get her hands on. Time outs were marginally effective. They were better at calming her down after the fact than preventing one to begin with. At her worst, she was going ballistic more than once an hour. And so was I.

To vent a little of the steam, I posted up on facebook and got many helpful tips from my friends. One was that I should do something to reward and reinforce good behavior. They suggested a chart that she could put a sticker on when she did something good, then trade it in at the end of the week for special "daddy time." The very first day we instituted it, I felt like she was calmer. It wasn't like she was trying to be good, but maybe that I noticed the good things she did more often and praised her for them. I couldn't think of a good name for it, so I just called it the Be Good Chart, haha! The chart was definitely therapeutic for her AND me. It's hard to get through the day when the moments that stick in your mind are all the crappy ones. I knew I would never remember everything that she did, so I would put a sticker on and then write one line at the bottom about how she was good. I tried to get her to tell me what she did, like "shared toys with D" or "left the park without a fit." Lately I've been heading off tantrums with a reminder that if she gets ready for bed quickly without a fuss, we can put a sticker on the chart.

N is so proud of her chart, she shows it off whenever she can. Just last week, Aunt C came to see N (and incidentally stay later after N & D went to bed for drinks and crocheting) and one of the first things N said was "Come look at my Be Good chart!!" I think a lot of the change in the household attitude is stemming from focusing on the positive. A comes home and asks how the day went and I can tell him all the nice things N did, instead of how many hissy fits she had.

I also wanted to post about N's visit to pre-school, a few of our crafts and D's scary trip to the ER, but it's really late. Everyone probably already heard through Facebook, but D spent the day at the ER with pneumonia. No fun! She's all better now, so I guess there isn't really anything to post about. We've been blessed thus far in that we've never had any serious health problems with our children. This was the first time anyone has been seriously ill and one of only a handful of times we've ever even taken them to the doc's for being sick. N went for an earache once, and D went when she had Fifth Disease and went for her diarrhea, but that's it. Like I said, we've been lucky!

I'll try to get back soon for the rest of the updates, but until then... Be Good!!

That's What Friends Are For!

I did a little brain-storming with C and came up with a well thought out (I think!) plan of attack for N's temper tantrums. I haven't actually started these, so any input or feedback is welcome and appreciated.

1. Feelings Flashcards
I think that a large part of N's (and any pre-schooler's tantrums) stems from her inability to articulate what she's feeling. My idea was to make 8.5 x 11 sheets with faces on them to illustrate what a feeling looks like. One for each sheet. I haven't decided if I want to do simple smiley-type faces, pictures of N, pictures of us, magazine clippings or a combination of all. These will go either in a binder or on a wall. The master plan is to try to distract N from a pending hissy fit by asking her to either point out how she feels or maybe putting a sticker on the face that she feels like. Hopefully this will help her to talk about what's going on in her head as opposed to rolling around on the ground screaming, which I don't find helpful at all.

N pretending to be sad. (summer 2010)

2. Punching Bag Monster
When N is trying to not have a full blown on-the-ground temper tantrum, she often hits herself or throws whatever is handy. If nothing's nearby, she'll walk all the way across the kitchen to dump a box of toys and then look back at me to check my reaction. *sigh* I'm hoping with this idea to create an outlet for her anger and frustration that is acceptable. I've got lots of fabric laying around, so I was going to make a monster for her that she could punch, throw, hit, whatever, when she was mad. I'm not sure if this will help her channel herself into an acceptable outlet or if it will encourage her already feisty tendencies. I need a good name for him, too. Punchinello? Hissy Fit Harry? Temper Tantrum Timmy?

3. Daddy-Time Chart
I think a lot of N's temper problems have escalated since A's been gone so much. It's been a big change in the household and it's hard on everyone, A included. I try to keep my own frustration levels down by thinking "it's not forever!" but N doesn't have the luxury of understanding that. A friend suggested that N could earn special time with Daddy with stickers for good behavior. I don't really have any structure in mind other than a blank week that she gets to put a sticker on when she does something nice or acts politely without me asking her. Sometimes she IS very sweet and thoughtful to her sister, or she gets ready to go out the door with no fuss, and I would like to reward her. I always make sure to let her know I noticed her good behavior, and I thank her for it without making it the hugest deal in the world. Kind of like her tantrums, I let her know that it isn't acceptable and I either ignore her or put her in time out. Hopefully this will make her more conscious of the good things that she does, and she'll get to spend some one-on-one time with A on the weekend.

I don't know why N's temper tantrums have escalated so badly the last few months. It makes me feel like a terrible parent when she melts down at a play group or family member's house. We don't go out too often, largely because I'm trying to avoid a scene. I don't feel like I reinforce her bad behavior, but obviously I'm not doing something right if she's being this bad. I definitely think that her behavior is worse than other kids her age. Maybe it's her age, maybe it's all the changes, maybe the wind is blowing the wrong way that day. Who knows? I just know that I need to get her in hand, and I have no real idea how to go about it.

These Are a Few (more) of My Fave Things

I got to thinking after yesterday's post about the things that make me happy. I need to remind myself more often that there's lots of things that are totally awesome about my life.

Crocheting
A recent hobby I picked up a few months ago that has been neglected lately. I got back into a blanket that I started a few weeks ago last night. I had forgotten how relaxing it could be. It feels productive, too, so I don't feel as guilty chilling in front of the TV.

N's butterfly hat

D's ear flap hat

Routines
I realized today that my routines that I have here with the girls really do make my life so much easier. We do the same thing every day. Every day. It makes me a little crazy sometimes, but N thrives on it. I realized this when I saw how things fell apart when my husband gets in the mix. My girls and I love having him around, don't get me wrong, but naptime and bedtime can be a bit of a struggle. N always wants daddy to put her to bed, but when he forgets one silly (to us!) little thing like turning on the nightlight in the middle of the day, it's a disaster. N and I take naps and go to bed the same way every night. I don't even think about it until I forget something or do it differently. After all hell breaks loose, I realize that I accidentally switched something up.

Reality TV
Baaaad guilty pleasure. But it does make me happy!

My Friends & Family
This should have been at the top of my list yesterday. I could never get by without the support of the people around me. They may be an hour away at work or live too far away to see all the time, but a phone call can turn my day around. Sometimes I need a sympathetic ear when my day is going south or sometimes it's just to share a funny story from my day. Connecting with my friends and family keeps me going. Often, the LAST thing I want to talk about is the crappy day I'm having. It's nice to hear what other people are doing!

Me and A on Valentine's Day 2011

Me and C. BFF4Eva&Eva!!!

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say

I've been feeling pretty negative lately, so I haven't written anything. Although I do love a good venting session, I'd hate for this to turn into one long catalog of things that piss me off. So here are a few things that have made me happy the last two weeks:

N's Garden
This has turned out to be not only a great way to teach her about responsibility, it's also a great bribe to get her to take a nap. "If you don't take a nap, you can't water your babies!" Her cucumber seeds sprouted pretty early on and they're a few inches tall already. The peppers and squash have yet to poke their heads out of the dirt. I hope that at least a few of each sprout. It's been about two weeks, but I'm not giving up on them yet. She was SO excited when she first saw her babies "growing up."

The very first sprouts!

They're getting so big!

Warm Weather on the Horizon

I'm so stoked for the weather to get nice and STAY that way! We went to the park last weekend while it was sunny and warm. N loved running around and D had a blast playing in the mulch and going down the slides. I want to get motivated to spring clean and pack away all the winter clothes. Coats, hats, mittens and boots take up a ton of room when there's four people in the house! Of course, it's supposed to snow tomorrow, so I'll have to wait on that one.

Sleep

Sleeping in makes me so happy it's a little ridiculous. I don't get to do it too often, so when it happens it makes my day.

Naps

Related to previous post, but actually referring to my girls. I am insanely grateful that my girls nap. It's the middle of the afternoon right now and BOTH of my girls are sleeping, and will most likely stay that way until 4pm. I absolutely love that, and the fact that they nap keeps me sane. I realize that I'm very lucky that my girls nap so well. I attribute it to genetics (see previous item on list!) and the fact that we were sleep nazis when they were babies. The whole napping thing definitely limits my options when I want to get out of the house, but the flip side of the coin is certainly a peaceful one. I'm willing to take the trade-off because they won't be little forever. One day, the naps will come to an end.

I wish that these things stayed foremost in my head all the time, but the fact is that I often get overwhelmed with everything else. The "everything else" being temper tantrums, dishes, laundry, temper tantrums, waking up too early, sick pets, temper tantrums, D's poo issues, temper tantrums and ummm... oh yeah, temper tantrums. N is getting a little out of hand. I sincerely try to stay calm and rational but her hissy fits drive me to the brink. I can see her just about exploding with frustration before she lets one loose and I try to talk to her, but it never works. It could be over something silly, like she can't fit a square peg into a round hole, or something far more serious (in her eyes) like D taking a toy or not getting to watch TV. I do see her handling them a little better now than she did a year ago. For instance, I've seen her think about hitting D and then choosing not to. Instead, she hits herself or seeks out a bin of toys to dump out and throw around. Thanks. I can only hope that she learns some self control soon, because she is about driving me nuts!!

Often, I often feel like the complaints outnumber the nice things to say, and I hate feeling that way. Hopefully the beautiful spring weather that is just around the corner will help thaw my patience out.

A Banner Day

I wish every day could be as peaceful, smooth and awesome as today.

It actually started out pretty crappy when my older daughter woke up with "a nose-full of snoogies." (In case you were wondering, the word snoogies is a cross between snot and boogies or boogers. I'm not sure where the word came from, but I know that my brother uses it, too.) Maybe I was expecting a crap-tastic day, so that was why it turned out pretty good. I had steeled myself for a whiny, cranky, hissy fittin' 3 year old. She wasn't too bad, and I had patience to spare today. D was a little snoogied up, too, but her mood was chipper as always.

Anyway, after I got D down for her morning nap, I told N that I had a surprise for her. We were starting our garden! I was definitely more excited than she was, but as soon as I pulled everything out she was raring to go. I think I was most excited to actually start on one of my big goals for the year. We picked out seeds weeks ago, but it was too early to do anything with them. N and I had a long conversation about planting her seeds and how we're going to have to take care of them every day. I kind of started an analogy of seeds = baby plants, and N ran with it.

N making beds for all of the babies.

Only one baby per bed!

Cover them up so they stay nice and cozy.

Another tray for the cucumber babies and the pepper babies.

Everybody gets a nice big drink!



N had a lot of fun and took her job very seriously, as you can see! I hope that they sprout soon so that she can see them growing. I have no idea how big this garden is going to be. We started 20 squash, 25 peppers, and 25 cucumbers. I also plan on getting a few tomato seedlings in a few weeks. I really hope I'm not biting off more than I can chew.

Since everyone was sick, I started chicken soup while D was sleeping. A few days earlier, I picked up one of those roasted chickens at the grocery store. I always plan on making soup with the carcass, but never get around to it. Well, today I did! During the afternoon naps I strained the stock, added another chicken breast to the leftovers, and put in corn, rice and carrots. It actually turned out pretty good. D destroyed a big bowl, and I managed to shove a good bit into N.

In addition to starting my garden and making awesome soup, I folded two loads of laundry, kept the house more or less tidy, and baked cookies with N after D went to bed for the night. I even had the energy to clean up for an hour after they went to bed! I don't know why I can't keep this level of motivation going every day. It's not like I was going gung-ho all day. We never changed out of our pajamas, I wasted time on Facebook and on the phone while the girls were napping, and I spent a good amount of time just rolling around on the floor with the girls when they were up. Maybe it's because I was anticipating such a bad day. You know, hope for the best but expect the worst. I'd hate to "expect" my kids to steamroll over me every day, though.

I think I need to plan ahead a little more. The garden was pre-planned for today, and that was a big chunk of time for the day, maybe 45 minutes to an hour. If I plan something cool for N to do while D is sleeping in the AM, it will keep her quiet and engaged in something worthwhile. As soon as the weather turns, we can use that time to care for her garden. The problem is that I often count on D's naptime to put the house back in order after the morning whirlwind. N usually spends it playing by herself with her Disney figurines and her dollhouse. Maybe if I can focus and get the morning dishes and tidying done in the first 45 minutes, N and I can do something fun until D gets up.

A funny little anecdote to end on: N is usually really good about sneezing into her elbow, but she was driving me nuts wiping her constantly dripping nose on her hand this morning. I had one of those eureka moments and invented... drumroll...

Sneezy Sleeves! (or Snoogie Sleeves, I haven't decided.)

The Sneezy Sleeve in action!



I took a pair of kneehigh socks that I had cut the feet off to use as legwarmers for D last fall and stuck them on N's arms. Now she doesn't get snot all over her sleeves, and when it gets too soggy or we're leaving the house, off they come!

Sometimes, I'm just too awesome for words.