Blog Birthday

Happy birthday, my little blog! I went back to re-read some of my earlier posts a few weeks ago, and I realized that my very first post was mid-February. I decided to take stock of where I am right now, and see how I did with my goal of sweeping life changes.

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

I cook a LOT more for the girls, we do super fun stuff almost every day, I've cut down on their TV a *little*, and I feel like my attitude is much better in general. There are a few things that have really helped me get my shiz together.

N going to school has brought some weekly routine into the mix. Not only does it get us out and about early in the day, but it gives me some quality time with D. School has also helped N's attitude, I think. She freaks out less frequently, and is a little more reasonable when there's an obstacle in the way. A little. We're still working on that.

I discovered audiobooks! This was a housecleaning epiphany. My husband works very late 4 days a week, so I'm on my own a lot. After the girls are in bed, I feel like I need some *me* time, understandably so. Before, I would sit down for "just a minute" to check my e-mail or watch a short show while I ate dinner. Once I parked my butt, that was all she wrote. This way, I can listen to a book while I poke around the house cleaning. I lose myself in the books and I find myself looking for more things to do while I listen. The house isn't perfect, but it's a LOT better.

I made a conscious effort to not shrink away from "messy" fun. We've been doing more crafty fun things, even if the project requires a lot of clean up. I try to include D, but that's asking a little much, haha! Our messy play time is usually when D is sleeping in the afternoons. N has gotten a lot better at helping around the house. She cleans up her toys when I ask her, and she even empties parts of the dishwasher for me! She's in charge of silverware and sippy cups. What a big girl <3 !

Dried beans and glue! Just a quick little craft for the afternoon. D didn't try to eat *too* many beans. (Really, you would think she was old enough to know better by now!)

I joined a MOMS Club! It's been awesome. There are playdates available just about every weekday, if you want to go. There are also Mom's Nights Out once a month, but since A works late just about every night, I never get to go. Boo! I host at least one playdate a month here, so it's also a good motivation to get the first floor presentable once a month. I've met a lot of great moms that live in my town, and N & D have a bunch of friends that they get to play with regularly. Not only are the playdates super fun, but the support has been fantastic. When I have a question about ANYTHING, there's 20 other moms that have an opinion (and aren't afraid to share it!). They all have kids. They all live near me. They've all been where I am, and know how hard it can be. They also know how much fun it is, too. :)

We still eat mac & chee sometimes. D still has chronic diarrhea (nasty, I know!). I still get frustrated. But I feel like I'm floating through the days less and less. I feel like I have a Purpose. I know that this is largely due to the girls being one year older and a little easier to handle. N & D can play together, and now that D is talking a little clearer, they can have actual conversations. (SO freaking cute!!)

Those little heads bent together are just the sweetest!

I would love to bottle this positive feeling and keep it in a jar for those days when the grumps come creeping in. Bad days are a part of life, but they've been less frequent and for that I'm grateful.

Pinterest: Productive or Procrastination?

I like to think of it as productive procrastination. If you don't know what Pinterest is (and it seems that the ignorant population is rapidly decreasing as the popularity of Pinterest has boomed in the past few months) I'll give you a brief rundown.

The best way I can think to describe Pinterest is that it's a visual organization of internet bookmarks. Some bookmarks, or pins, you create yourself. You can also search or browse through other people's pins by general category, such as DIY & Crafts, Food & Drink, Kids, Pets, Art... etc. When you run across someone else's pin (internet bookmark) that you like, you can "re-pin" it to your own page. Your personal page is divided into categories called "boards" that you create yourself. On my personal page I mainly pin to my crochet board and crafts for my kids board. I love this method of storing and organizing internet bookmarks. Previously I would bookmark a site from my internet browser, and then promptly forget about it, or forget what it was when I went back. If you want to create your own "pin", there's instructions on how to add the "pin it" button to your internet's bookmarks or favorites tab. While you're on the website, click your "pin it" button and select a thumbnail to display on your board. Add a caption describing the website or why you pinned it and select a board to display it on. Voila! Limitless inspiration at your fingertips.

The key is to not only pin every awesome idea you run across, but to actually FOLLOW THROUGH with them. I've been making a concerted effort to do more with my girls. I want to do more than get through the day, I want to have a fun day. The little crafts and play time ideas that I've run across through Pinterest have made this so much easier. Once I got into the habit of doing more, it wasn't such a chore when N wanted to pull out her watercolors or play doh.

Here's a few of the pins that I have completed!

 Cloud Dough from Play at Home Mom

Metamucil Flubber from about.com

Water Beads. These are actually squares in progress (we did both), but everything was squishy, slippery fun!

We put everything on the lightbox thanks to Play at Home Mom (again!)

Cute dress up butterfly wings adapted from My Poppet

It's not snot, it's home made hand soap!

8 complete crock pot meals, I'm so excited about this one!! I'm actually making my first one tomorrow morning. Yum! I especially love these recipes because they are heavy on the veggies, and super low fat.

I swear I do fun things with little D, too, but she's not as easy to photograph, haha! That girl doesn't stop moving, and if she sees the camera, she wants it. Bad. Anyway, I've been making it a point to accomplish more awesome with the wee ones, and Pinterest has been a good inspiration. A lot of the activities I've found use things that I already have around the house. Super handy!

I realized last week that my first blog was February 17th last year. Happy Birthday, Blog! I think I'll take the next few days to evaluate where I am and what I've accomplished during the last year. My head is definitely in a better place now than a year ago, and for that I'm glad. The girls are growing up (*sniff* *sniff*) and every day gets easier. I'm glad for everyone's support and all that mush, but I think I'll get into that next post. ;)

Less is More vs. Toy Guilt

With the holidays behind us and the girls' birthdays come and gone, I can't help but stare at the house in horror. So. Many. Toys. I don't know what to do with them all. I know that they don't need so many (obviously!! Who needs that much?!) but I don't know what to donate. I feel like this is a dilemma that many parents face in today's materialistic and plastic age.

We recently dismantled our guest bedroom and turned it into a play room. This is awesome because at the end of the day, you just toss the toys in there and shut the door. This sucks because at the end of the day, you just toss the toys in there and shut the door. The sheer volume of toys housed in there is staggering. Ideally, I would love to cut the number of toys we have in half so that N & D could participate more in cleaning. It's hard to ask N to clean up her toys when they have no "home" in the playroom. Also, the size of the room has amplified the clutter. When it was spread out across the entire first floor of our house, it was more pervasive, but less overwhelming. Now, their toys live in two rooms: the play room (which no one plays in because it's a wreck) and the sun room. The sun room is mainly used for messy play, such as play doh, paint, markers, etc., and as additional toy storage. Yup. MORE toy storage.

I think my problem is that I become unreasonably sentimentally attached to their toys. I feel attached to toys that certain people gave them, just because I love that person. I feel attached to toys that are expensive, because I think that the girls need to get the giver's "money's worth" out of it. I feel attached to toys that they played with as babies. Hell, I'll feel attached to a toy merely because we've had it for a long time! It's hard to separate the feelings of false sentimentality with being truly attached to a toy that the girls loved (and would appreciate if it was saved.) That being said, I read somewhere that a person's memories usually start around age 4. N & D won't be missing a plastic baby rattle 20 years from now.

Another problem (if you can really call it that!) is that we have very generous and thoughtful friends and family. They love us and they love our daughters. And they LOVE to make our girls happy! As their parents, I think that my husband and I have bought maybe 15% of their toys and clothes. It's actually gotten easier since the girls are a little older (2 and 4! sniff, sniff!). Now we get a lot of art supplies, cool books, and clothes for them. Which is awesome. But we still get a lot of toys, too. I think we need to do a toy purge before the holidays and birthday times so that the girls can enjoy their new toys more, rather than losing them in the morass of the play room. I also need to be better prepared when someone asks me what to get the girls.

I recently ran across a blog, Play at Home Mom, that got my wheels turning in the direction of where I want to be. They write mostly about raising their young children through child-led play and learning. Their play rooms are astonishing. It's more than I feel like I am able to do, but I want to at least incorporate elements of their environments into my own. Maybe if I had seen this before we had children, it would be feasible. A lot of it centers around instilling respect for your environment at a very young age. D would kill someone, or herself, if she had easy access to one third of their play environment (glass, scissors, staple guns). If I had a do-over, I would have taught her better. Now, I guess I just have to wait for her to get a little older!

It's easy to think objectively about what to do about the mess of toys, but a lot harder to put into practice. Maybe I just need to jump in and start in a small spot. Divide and conquer.

Anyway, new goal. Clean up the damn toys.

New Year's Motivations

I know, I know... I'm a day (or 23) late and more than a few dollars short, but things have been busier than usual around here. I have a backlog of new posts in my head that have yet to make it to the blog, so hopefully I can get them out in the next week or so.

I dislike the term New Year's Resolution, because I feel like if there are changes that you want to make to your life, you shouldn't wait for a specific date to make it happen. I do, however, feel more motivation to make changes at the beginning of the new year. This is probably due more to the vacation days around the holiday and the impending easing of schedule (which oddly never happened) than anything else. There are a few areas of my own life, that impact not only me but my family, in which I feel motivated to better myself during this time of "new beginnings".

1. Let N be more independent.
This is a hard one for me. It's easier to swoop in when N is eating, getting dressed, putting away toys, etc, and do it myself rather than let her do it at her own pace. Which is maddeningly slow. I've seen the impact that it's made on her especially at mealtimes. Since I have to split my time between N and D, D has gotten very proficient in feeling herself and can eat faster and cleaner than N can, even though she's two years younger. We never let N do it for herself when she was little, and now she doesn't want to. I've got to back off and foster more independence in her life. I bought her special "4 year old" dishes that she can get from the cabinet herself. She loves them! Incidentally, this is also a visual reminder for me to control their portions better. 1/2 the plate for veggies, small sections for kid sized portions of meat and starch.

 

What big girls!

 

D has decided that she's too grown up for a highchair or booster seat, even though she can barely see her plate!

Using a fork and everything. :)

2. Be funner.

This is my main "resolution" for 2012, so there will be an entire blog post about it later. It's very easy to get into a rut of staying home. We drift through our days (still!) watching too much TV and doing... I'm not sure what. The days blend together sometimes and I hate to think that NOTHING got accomplished. The end of December and January has been a bust for playdates since daddy was home more, but we'll be getting back into that soon. The main thing I need to get into a better habit of is just plain making a mess. I hate cleaning up, so I'm loathe to get out the messy (fun) play time items. I've recently become addicted to Pinterest (more on that in another post) and it's definitely inspiring to see pages and pages of super cool kid crafts. This month I've gotten out the paints, play-doh, Elmer's Glue, and those toys with too many little pieces that N loves and D eats.

Super simple craft with construction paper, glue, and dried beans.

Marble racer N got for Christmas. I hate this thing. N loves it. I just need to make sure we clean it up before D wakes up from her nap!

3. Be more positive.

This is really tied in with #2, but I need to enjoy my time home more. Don't sweat the messes, but get into a better habit of cleaning up. When the house gets to a disaster-type state around here, it affects not only me, but my husband and the kids, too. When I'm feeling positive and happy, it's easy to breeze around the house and pick up the ENDLESS messes that crop up. I also need to remember to take a break and do things that make ME happy, too. After the girls go to bed (still 7:00, weeee!) I whirlwind around the house and clean so I have time to crochet in the evenings while I listen to audiobooks. This is awesome, relaxing and productive all at once! Currently, I'm desperately trying to finish D's little afghan in time for her birthday party. *Finger's crossed*

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday season and is back into the swing of every day life. It's hard to go from "vacation" mode to "serious work" mode, and this is our first week of it here. I'm ready to lock & load and rock & roll and... do stuff. Yeah.

Postception?

I know a post promising that I'm going to post a post is a little redundant, but maybe if I put it out there it will actually get done.

I think I want to redesign a *little* to include a crafty section for my blog. It will give me something positive to write about as well as motivate me to craft more and document what I'm making. Coming soon... sweater dress, bear ears, home made stamps, ummmm... maybe a hat or two? Most of these won't be tutorials since what I'm making was picked up from another blog or website, but I'll link back to my source so that y'all can try it out if you want.

I'm excited, how 'bout you?!

On Again, Off Again, On Again, Off Again...

My diet.

We're currently on again after a painful betrayal by my scale. My butt cheated on me with some oatmeal creme pies, so my diet and I got a mediator. We've been working through our issues, and have made good progress the last week and a half.

I haven't actually gained THAT much weight back after my Operation Wedding Weight journey from last fall. (Those of you that don't know, after D was born I joined Weight Watchers Online and lost over 40 pounds of chronic pudge that I've carried most of my adult life, not baby weight.) However, seeing those pounds creeping in on me is a scary thing. 8 pounds now can easily be 20 pounds in a few more months if I'm not careful. When I started getting pissed at the scale, I decided to DO something about it this time before it got out of hand, instead of just hoping that the weight would disappear. It seems like calorie counting is the easiest way for me to lose weight. I hate exercising more than I love food, so it's been the way to go. SparkPeople is a little more serious than Weight Watchers in that instead of blind "points" I have to keep track of calories, carbs, protein and fat. I've noticed that I'm always short on my protein for the day, so I need to make some changes to fix that next time I hit the grocery store. Also, it's free, so that appeals to my inner cheapskate.

My only problem with the whole process, if you can really call it a problem, is that I get a little overwhelmed and I over think everything that I eat. Instead of eating a normal breakfast and then tracking it, I obsess over what I'm going to eat and end up eating nothing for an hour while I decide what to have. While this tendancy is great to curb snacking, it makes eating my regular meals a pain. I try to have a plan of attack for the day and a set of go-to foods to eat so that I don't get stuck at mealtimes.

I've lost about 5 pounds so far. I think a good bit of it was just random water-weight and my starting weight was a bit pessimistic. Still, my numbers are dropping again so that makes me happy.

There weren't many "before" pics, but this was taken Spring, 2010.

This is my "after" pic!

I made my goal and wore my wedding dress on our 5 year anniversary: October 29, 2010.

On an annoying side-note, blogger isn't letting me comment on anyone's blog, including my own. I'm not ignoring anyone, just not computer literate enough to figure it out.

...How Does Your Garden Grow?

I've been remiss in my blogging as of late, mostly due to the fact that my husband has been home at night more the past few weeks. I use the blog to kill time after the girls go to bed when there's no one to talk to and I have housework to avoid! I also wait until I have a TON of stuff to talk about instead of making 3 or 4 shorter blog entries.

Anywho, tonight's topic is N's garden. It seems to be doing OK. My alternate working blog title was "Two Left Thumbs" but her plants have perked up a bit in recent days and I think they're doing better. To start at the beginning, A and the girls dug out my garden for Mother's Day. It took about a week to put on the finishing touches and get the dirt to fill it in.

 It's a good thing the garden got done, these guys were getting out of hand! Also, we seriously need to work on her "picture face"!

Hooray, it's done! N's ready to plant.

Digging the holes with her own little shovel.

Carefully planting some peppers.

Phew! Job well done!

N and I watered her plants every day and we made it through the heat wave with most of the plants intact. We lost one pepper plant right next to the door, but I think that was due to N stepping on it a few times. Oops! It was nice to have something specific to do while D was sleeping. Some days, when it was too hot to go out, I watered them while N was asleep. Luckily, she didn't remember! The plants have been growing well. The squash are doing the best, the cucumbers are still hanging in there, and the peppers are slowly growing. A few weeks after the initial planting, I got N to help me weed out her garden. There were only a few tiny weeds, but we had fun!

N's got her gardening gloves and her goofy grin ready to go!

Me pointing out the difference between her plants and the weeds.

N pulled them all herself.

Plants are getting bigger!

Baby squash!!

Since the rains have cooled things off a bit, the squash have gotten so much bigger. Hopefully we can keep things going and not kill off all of the plants. I'm super excited to have squash and cucumbers this summer! I'm not too hopeful about the peppers, but we'll see. We never got a chance to get tomato plants, but perhaps it's just as well. I think I'll have my hands full with the garden I started!

Stickers, Stickers Everywhere!

It's funny how much a small change can make such a big impact on such a young mind.

A few months ago, I was at my wit's end with N. My anxiety level was at an all time high, she had screaming temper tantrums several times a day and I cried at least once a day from anger and frustration. We've been going through a lot of big family changes, which I've touched on before. The biggest is A's schedule. Before he got the wonderful opportunity to teach, he gave the girls a bath and put them to bed every night. It was their daddy time. Right now, he's in school and working more hours in the hopes that he can teach full time in the future. I think this has impacted N the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss him, too, but at least I can rationalize and understand what's going on. N's little brain just went haywire, I think. The tiniest obstacle would result in yelling, crying and throwing whatever she could get her hands on. Time outs were marginally effective. They were better at calming her down after the fact than preventing one to begin with. At her worst, she was going ballistic more than once an hour. And so was I.

To vent a little of the steam, I posted up on facebook and got many helpful tips from my friends. One was that I should do something to reward and reinforce good behavior. They suggested a chart that she could put a sticker on when she did something good, then trade it in at the end of the week for special "daddy time." The very first day we instituted it, I felt like she was calmer. It wasn't like she was trying to be good, but maybe that I noticed the good things she did more often and praised her for them. I couldn't think of a good name for it, so I just called it the Be Good Chart, haha! The chart was definitely therapeutic for her AND me. It's hard to get through the day when the moments that stick in your mind are all the crappy ones. I knew I would never remember everything that she did, so I would put a sticker on and then write one line at the bottom about how she was good. I tried to get her to tell me what she did, like "shared toys with D" or "left the park without a fit." Lately I've been heading off tantrums with a reminder that if she gets ready for bed quickly without a fuss, we can put a sticker on the chart.

N is so proud of her chart, she shows it off whenever she can. Just last week, Aunt C came to see N (and incidentally stay later after N & D went to bed for drinks and crocheting) and one of the first things N said was "Come look at my Be Good chart!!" I think a lot of the change in the household attitude is stemming from focusing on the positive. A comes home and asks how the day went and I can tell him all the nice things N did, instead of how many hissy fits she had.

I also wanted to post about N's visit to pre-school, a few of our crafts and D's scary trip to the ER, but it's really late. Everyone probably already heard through Facebook, but D spent the day at the ER with pneumonia. No fun! She's all better now, so I guess there isn't really anything to post about. We've been blessed thus far in that we've never had any serious health problems with our children. This was the first time anyone has been seriously ill and one of only a handful of times we've ever even taken them to the doc's for being sick. N went for an earache once, and D went when she had Fifth Disease and went for her diarrhea, but that's it. Like I said, we've been lucky!

I'll try to get back soon for the rest of the updates, but until then... Be Good!!

That's What Friends Are For!

I did a little brain-storming with C and came up with a well thought out (I think!) plan of attack for N's temper tantrums. I haven't actually started these, so any input or feedback is welcome and appreciated.

1. Feelings Flashcards
I think that a large part of N's (and any pre-schooler's tantrums) stems from her inability to articulate what she's feeling. My idea was to make 8.5 x 11 sheets with faces on them to illustrate what a feeling looks like. One for each sheet. I haven't decided if I want to do simple smiley-type faces, pictures of N, pictures of us, magazine clippings or a combination of all. These will go either in a binder or on a wall. The master plan is to try to distract N from a pending hissy fit by asking her to either point out how she feels or maybe putting a sticker on the face that she feels like. Hopefully this will help her to talk about what's going on in her head as opposed to rolling around on the ground screaming, which I don't find helpful at all.

N pretending to be sad. (summer 2010)

2. Punching Bag Monster
When N is trying to not have a full blown on-the-ground temper tantrum, she often hits herself or throws whatever is handy. If nothing's nearby, she'll walk all the way across the kitchen to dump a box of toys and then look back at me to check my reaction. *sigh* I'm hoping with this idea to create an outlet for her anger and frustration that is acceptable. I've got lots of fabric laying around, so I was going to make a monster for her that she could punch, throw, hit, whatever, when she was mad. I'm not sure if this will help her channel herself into an acceptable outlet or if it will encourage her already feisty tendencies. I need a good name for him, too. Punchinello? Hissy Fit Harry? Temper Tantrum Timmy?

3. Daddy-Time Chart
I think a lot of N's temper problems have escalated since A's been gone so much. It's been a big change in the household and it's hard on everyone, A included. I try to keep my own frustration levels down by thinking "it's not forever!" but N doesn't have the luxury of understanding that. A friend suggested that N could earn special time with Daddy with stickers for good behavior. I don't really have any structure in mind other than a blank week that she gets to put a sticker on when she does something nice or acts politely without me asking her. Sometimes she IS very sweet and thoughtful to her sister, or she gets ready to go out the door with no fuss, and I would like to reward her. I always make sure to let her know I noticed her good behavior, and I thank her for it without making it the hugest deal in the world. Kind of like her tantrums, I let her know that it isn't acceptable and I either ignore her or put her in time out. Hopefully this will make her more conscious of the good things that she does, and she'll get to spend some one-on-one time with A on the weekend.

I don't know why N's temper tantrums have escalated so badly the last few months. It makes me feel like a terrible parent when she melts down at a play group or family member's house. We don't go out too often, largely because I'm trying to avoid a scene. I don't feel like I reinforce her bad behavior, but obviously I'm not doing something right if she's being this bad. I definitely think that her behavior is worse than other kids her age. Maybe it's her age, maybe it's all the changes, maybe the wind is blowing the wrong way that day. Who knows? I just know that I need to get her in hand, and I have no real idea how to go about it.

These Are a Few (more) of My Fave Things

I got to thinking after yesterday's post about the things that make me happy. I need to remind myself more often that there's lots of things that are totally awesome about my life.

Crocheting
A recent hobby I picked up a few months ago that has been neglected lately. I got back into a blanket that I started a few weeks ago last night. I had forgotten how relaxing it could be. It feels productive, too, so I don't feel as guilty chilling in front of the TV.

N's butterfly hat

D's ear flap hat

Routines
I realized today that my routines that I have here with the girls really do make my life so much easier. We do the same thing every day. Every day. It makes me a little crazy sometimes, but N thrives on it. I realized this when I saw how things fell apart when my husband gets in the mix. My girls and I love having him around, don't get me wrong, but naptime and bedtime can be a bit of a struggle. N always wants daddy to put her to bed, but when he forgets one silly (to us!) little thing like turning on the nightlight in the middle of the day, it's a disaster. N and I take naps and go to bed the same way every night. I don't even think about it until I forget something or do it differently. After all hell breaks loose, I realize that I accidentally switched something up.

Reality TV
Baaaad guilty pleasure. But it does make me happy!

My Friends & Family
This should have been at the top of my list yesterday. I could never get by without the support of the people around me. They may be an hour away at work or live too far away to see all the time, but a phone call can turn my day around. Sometimes I need a sympathetic ear when my day is going south or sometimes it's just to share a funny story from my day. Connecting with my friends and family keeps me going. Often, the LAST thing I want to talk about is the crappy day I'm having. It's nice to hear what other people are doing!

Me and A on Valentine's Day 2011

Me and C. BFF4Eva&Eva!!!

A Banner Day

I wish every day could be as peaceful, smooth and awesome as today.

It actually started out pretty crappy when my older daughter woke up with "a nose-full of snoogies." (In case you were wondering, the word snoogies is a cross between snot and boogies or boogers. I'm not sure where the word came from, but I know that my brother uses it, too.) Maybe I was expecting a crap-tastic day, so that was why it turned out pretty good. I had steeled myself for a whiny, cranky, hissy fittin' 3 year old. She wasn't too bad, and I had patience to spare today. D was a little snoogied up, too, but her mood was chipper as always.

Anyway, after I got D down for her morning nap, I told N that I had a surprise for her. We were starting our garden! I was definitely more excited than she was, but as soon as I pulled everything out she was raring to go. I think I was most excited to actually start on one of my big goals for the year. We picked out seeds weeks ago, but it was too early to do anything with them. N and I had a long conversation about planting her seeds and how we're going to have to take care of them every day. I kind of started an analogy of seeds = baby plants, and N ran with it.

N making beds for all of the babies.

Only one baby per bed!

Cover them up so they stay nice and cozy.

Another tray for the cucumber babies and the pepper babies.

Everybody gets a nice big drink!



N had a lot of fun and took her job very seriously, as you can see! I hope that they sprout soon so that she can see them growing. I have no idea how big this garden is going to be. We started 20 squash, 25 peppers, and 25 cucumbers. I also plan on getting a few tomato seedlings in a few weeks. I really hope I'm not biting off more than I can chew.

Since everyone was sick, I started chicken soup while D was sleeping. A few days earlier, I picked up one of those roasted chickens at the grocery store. I always plan on making soup with the carcass, but never get around to it. Well, today I did! During the afternoon naps I strained the stock, added another chicken breast to the leftovers, and put in corn, rice and carrots. It actually turned out pretty good. D destroyed a big bowl, and I managed to shove a good bit into N.

In addition to starting my garden and making awesome soup, I folded two loads of laundry, kept the house more or less tidy, and baked cookies with N after D went to bed for the night. I even had the energy to clean up for an hour after they went to bed! I don't know why I can't keep this level of motivation going every day. It's not like I was going gung-ho all day. We never changed out of our pajamas, I wasted time on Facebook and on the phone while the girls were napping, and I spent a good amount of time just rolling around on the floor with the girls when they were up. Maybe it's because I was anticipating such a bad day. You know, hope for the best but expect the worst. I'd hate to "expect" my kids to steamroll over me every day, though.

I think I need to plan ahead a little more. The garden was pre-planned for today, and that was a big chunk of time for the day, maybe 45 minutes to an hour. If I plan something cool for N to do while D is sleeping in the AM, it will keep her quiet and engaged in something worthwhile. As soon as the weather turns, we can use that time to care for her garden. The problem is that I often count on D's naptime to put the house back in order after the morning whirlwind. N usually spends it playing by herself with her Disney figurines and her dollhouse. Maybe if I can focus and get the morning dishes and tidying done in the first 45 minutes, N and I can do something fun until D gets up.

A funny little anecdote to end on: N is usually really good about sneezing into her elbow, but she was driving me nuts wiping her constantly dripping nose on her hand this morning. I had one of those eureka moments and invented... drumroll...

Sneezy Sleeves! (or Snoogie Sleeves, I haven't decided.)

The Sneezy Sleeve in action!



I took a pair of kneehigh socks that I had cut the feet off to use as legwarmers for D last fall and stuck them on N's arms. Now she doesn't get snot all over her sleeves, and when it gets too soggy or we're leaving the house, off they come!

Sometimes, I'm just too awesome for words.

Sleeping Beauty? I wish!

I need to get more sleep, that's all there is to it.

A let me sleep in this morning until 9 and I feel great. I have more patience with the kids, I actually feel like getting stuff done and it didn't require a pot of coffee to get me going. (Don't get me wrong, I drank it anyway!) I have a real problem with going to bed early for several reasons. The first is that, more often than not, during the work week A doesn't get home until between 11pm and 1am. I end up putzing around waiting to see him before I go to bed, or I dilly dally doing nothing for an extra hour or two instead of just packing it in. On the nights that he does get home before bedtime, I want to hang out and talk or watch something stupid on TV. We end up watching an extra two episodes of something that we've seen before just because we're both savoring the feeling of doing nothing. This is bad for both of us since he gets up at least an hour before I do in the morning.

The other reason is that sometimes, it's hard to face the thought of "tomorrow". It's difficult to admit that I don't relish the thought of hanging out with my beautiful, funny girls every... single... day. Some days they just tax my patience to the limit and I know that tomorrow I have to do it all over again. This ends up snowballing, since I stay up late to avoid tomorrow, then I'm cranky the next day because I didn't get enough sleep!

I never in a million years imagined how hard it would be to transition from part time work to full time stay at home mom. You figure, there's only a few days a week difference, right? BIG difference. Having the break of working outside of the house, the interaction with a human being that doesn't want fruit snacks and PB&J 24 hours a day, not having to wipe someone's hiney every hour or so... that is priceless. Jumping into it with two of them isn't helping, either! Having just N or just D would be a breeze compared to the dual whirlwind that occurs when the two of them get together. I suppose it's just as well that I'm getting started on it now, because it's only going to get harder as they get older and D gets into temper tantrums and N gives up her afternoon nap. (NEVER!!!)

The peace that presides over the household when everyone is happy is a blissful feeling. A lot of that is contingent upon ME. If I'm short with N, she immediately gets cranky. If she's gearing up for a fit and I can work through it really quick by being silly, it can save the whole day. I frequently shoot myself in the foot and I know it. I am a nut about making sure my kids take their naps and go to bed on time, why can't I follow the same discipline for myself?

I would love to find Zen in my day and I think that the key to the search is going to be a well rested family, starting with me.

who could be angry with those little faces?!

Weather back to crap

It was easy to feel the motivation on Thursday and Friday when the weather was unseasonably warm. (60-70 in the middle of February!) It's supposed to snow 2-4 inches overnight tomorrow. Poo. I want to start my garden now that I'm thinking about it! N and I did go buy some seeds this weekend, but I still have to wait another month to start the seeds inside. I guess I need to focus my energies elsewhere for now.

I suppose my current goal is to get the inside of my house in order so that when spring finally gets here, we can spend all of our time outside. One of the daily battles that I wage with my 3 year old (actually it's MANY times a day) is over the TV. She wants to watch it all day, and I want it OFF. We've gotten into a rut of watching a show or two after breakfast, one before her afternoon nap and then again after dinner. When I write it out like this, it's embarrassing to see how much TV she watches. At least there are no commercials since we watch on Netflix or DVD. Once I manage to get the TV off, she's perfectly happy playing with her Disney figurines or "baking" me something in her kitchen. I guess little ones can get into a rut the same as us and she's just used to doing it.  It's gotten MUCH worse since winter started. The weather is crappy, I feel tied to the house with D so we can't go anywhere, when D's up she's an attention hog, and when she's sleeping N needs to keep it down.

Hmmm... goal #2? I need to find more crafty, fun and creative ways to keep N occupied and to keep the TV off. Part of that will be leading by example, since I recognize that I need to unplug myself, too. It not fair to tell N she can't watch TV when she sees me cruise by Facebook whenever I walk past the computer. The first step I took toward that was to stop playing those time hogging Facebook games. I would remember that I needed to harvest a crop or something stupid like that so I would log in just for a "minute" that inevitably turns into 30 while N is occupied. Then I think "damn, I just wasted time I could have been..." Aside from the games, I like to feel connected to friends and family that I rarely get to see. Living where we do is fabulous for the kids, but is a little remote for my liking. I love our 1.3 acres and I know that the schools are good around here, but it is at least an hour away from my family and closest friends. I need to remember that there are other ways to connect, and that not everyone is so far away. I was enjoying the nice weather and making a few phone calls on Thursday, just reconnecting with people I haven't spoken to in months, and it turns out my cousin works 20 minutes away from my house and would love to come to dinner some night when A is working late. I need to make myself take advantage of situations like this.

Anyway, this is turning into a ramble. Turn off the computer, clean the house, find something super awesome for N to do that is more attractive to her than TV. Seems like a tall order, we'll see what happens.

Beanbags for D's birthday. So they can be even more comfortable lounging in front of the TV.

Cinderelly, Cinderelly. Night and day, it's Cinderelly!

Why the blog?

I realized after I already published yesterday's blog that I didn't really cover WHY I was creating a blog for this. The main reason is for accountability. I feel that when I *think* I want to accomplish something, that there's a high mortality rate for my resolutions. When I put it out there, I'm much more likely to get it done. Case in point: last year I decided I wanted to lose weight. (Who doesn't?!) I've half-heartedly tried before, but never really got anywhere. This time I posted up on Facebook what my goals were and put up weekly updates on my progress. I managed to lose almost 40 pounds in three months, and I've kept it off for about 6 months. THAT is what I want to happen to my life. I want to make some sweeping changes, with my blog to keep me motivated, until it becomes a habit and the change is made for good. It doesn't matter if anyone reads it, because by posting, I've made the comittment. At least this way, my Facebook friends won't be subjected to it every day. If someone wants to cruise on over for a look-see, have at it. If not, don't.

Today started out pretty good. My internet was down in the morning as if it was a message from above saying "get off your butt!!" So I did. The girls and I took a walk, I did dishes and laundry and made lunch that wasn't pre-frozen. I will say that the internet is my main distraction in life. (And that I'm not oblivious to the irony of creating a blog where one of my main goals is to unplug.) We don't have cable and our antenna sucks, so I never watch TV. My other distraction is reading. While not as brainless as watching TV, it's still a time sucker when I could be doing something productive. Along those lines, I have started a new hobby that has taken the place of my mindless reading: crochet! I can do something that I don't have to think about when I need a break, but still be productive.

These little things are important, but there are larger goals on the horizon. My first big goal that is coming into play soon is starting a garden. N is happiest outside, and D will be much more steady on her feet by the spring. It seems like the ideal time to jump in. I plan on starting it inside, and then moving it all to our side yard when it gets warmer. I have to do some research to make sure I time it right, but I'll probably pick up seeds soon. I'm thinking tomatoes, squash, cucumbers... Maybe I should start reasonably and leave it at that. I'm NOT a gardener, so I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those "hard at first but becomes a habit" things. I know N will be all about it, so that should make it easier. I'll get stuff for it this weekend, I think.

See, I'm making commitments already!

Not sure where to start...

...with either my goal or my blog. I had all these great ideas in the shower - prosaic lines and all that - but when I'm actually sitting down to write, it's all gone. I guess I'll start with my reasons behind both.

As a bit of background, I'm a relatively new stay at home mom with a three year old (N) and a one year old (D). I quit my part time job when my youngest was 4 months old, and I've been home ever since. Home a lot. I was hoping that I would adjust to my new place in life with a little more grace, but there it is. I have a hard time not seeing my family and friends, and since D is still taking two naps a day, we don't get out much. I also cringe at meeting new people, which is ok I guess, since we live in a more rural area where I don't get the opportunity very often.

For the past few months, my youngest daughter D has had chronic diarrhea. It's not catastrophic or anything, just mysterious and annoying. We went to a Pedi GI specialist this week and one of her suspicions is a wheat protien intolerance. Being the sometimes proactive mother I am, I decided to go ahead and cut gluten out of her diet. This has forced me to be less lazy, which I hate, and a little more creative in the kitchen, which I am also not that fond of. As I'm sifting through the boxes of cereal, individually wrapped fruit and grain bars, and other bags of snacks that we have trying to find anything that she can eat, I step back a bit (physically and mentally) and realize that most of it is JUNK! This wasn't really an earth shaking revelation, I know that we buy way more convenience foods than we need. Now that a mysterious 'something' is affecting my daughter, I have the motivation I need to clean up my act. Making healthy food for D and junk for the rest of us would just be more work, so might as well do us all a favor and make my life a little easier. Because I'm all about that!

Speaking of making junk, out of desperation last week I made macaroni and cheese for my older daughter, N. She was feeling feisty and I was feeling frayed. After I made it, the neon orange goo of cheese(?) on pasty white little macaroni elbows was just too much. I vowed never to buy it again. Boxed macaroni and cheese has got to be the epitome of processed, pre-packaged crap. (But sometimes it really is yummy!) I need to clear my kitchen of  freezer pizza, frozen chicken fingers, fish sticks and the like.

I've come to realize that since staying home, I've been drifting along day by day without a Purpose. I guess my purpose is to make it to bedtime with my sanity and temper intact. Which rarely happens. I spend my day glaring at the piles of laundry and toys, and willing the mess to go away. Not only are my kitchen cabinets full of junk, my house is full of junk. My house is full of junk because my head is full of junk. I need to sweep out my brain and find the clarity I need to focus on what is important.

I need to rid myself of the Mac & Cheeses of life - overprocessed junk food, clutter, needless distractions, and all the aimless wandering I do in a day. I need to be whatever the antithesis of Mac & Cheese is. Roasted asparagus? Homemade guacamole?

I'm not sure what exactly, but I think it's going to be good.